Onwards and Upwards

Finally, it's happened to me. 

The pain is subsiding and I'm becoming more able. When I put effort in, or overdo it (rare occurence) the pain I get is a familiar, friendly pain; the ache of a hard session or a cold day's racing, rather than the weird disconnection and bitey twangs of the last few months. 

I've run, non-stop, for more than ten minutes. I've walked up three of my local hills (carrying the weight of an 18 week old child). These things please me. I have however been cautious when asked what my plans are for returning to racing. The burning desire I expected is not there. I miss my friends, my social runs and the weekend expeditions on recces of race routes. I've signed up for the Cross Country league and that will do as a tester. Then I'll see what I feel like doing over the winter months - I imagine it'll be local racing as I will still be breastfeeding, though there are a good few local ones I haven't done due to my enthusiasm for going off on adventures. I look forward to trying them out. 

Outdoors parent hacks

I don't usually use that word ... 'hack'.. to mean ' way of using something other than its intended purpose' . However that is what I've been doing since gaining a small human to bring with me, protect and carry in the outdoors (and indoors too of course!)

Various bits of kit have been pressed into service, and various ideas have been had about what kind of thing should be designed to support parents like myself. Happily, I have met some of those people - the off-road mums on maternity leave, ekeing out the last of the summer days in the hills and woods with our growing cargoes. 

Valerie, Rachel and myself on Cock Hill. Photo by Net Bell

Here's my current list of kit hacks for parents

Dry bag - nappy containment bag. (I use cloth nappies so it's particularly important to ferry the dirty ones home)

Windproof jacket - Windproof wrap for the baby carrier. See photo! Whilst the wee ones are still too young for back carriers, protecting them from the wind whilst in the front carrier is the big challenge whilst out and about. I reckon I've sorted it, sleeves tied around my waist, et voila!

Zoe demonstrates the baby wind shield. Jacket by Mountain Equipment

Sitting mat  - knee protector for changing nappies. This one I use in the house, as we don't use a changing table cos he'll only chuck himself off it one day. After the first few weeks changing him on the floor my knees were proper sore. Out came an old mat my Mum had given me, like a garden kneeling mat, I used to use for sitting on in the tent. No more battered knees, hooray!

Buff - mopping-up cloth/modesty hide for breastfeeding. Need I say more, there are not many things you can't use a Buff for. 

Hi-vis strips/armbands - Buggy visibility. I don't yet run with the buggy but when I do start, I need to be sure the cyclists on the trails don't plough into us, it'd get a bit impolite. 

Blokes waterproof coat : parent and baby dual waterproofing. It goes round me and the baby in the carrier. grand. 

Well that's it for tonight. onwards and upwards :) 

Parenting advice, from me to me

I'm having one of the days of clarity and peace. These are the days I live for. I helped out at the running club's race event, Him Indoors walked over to meet me with the baby so he could be fed, and then the babies and the parents in the room hung out and smiled at one another whilst I made teas and chatted. A balance of the old life and the new . Fox laughed, sang and rolled around on his mat when we got home.

I need to write myself this note, so that on the days where I feel like a groggy, imprisoned dairy heifer I can check myself and make good decisions

The cupboards

We all know about having frozen portion meals ready for baby homecoming day. As time passes and days and nights begin to become more manageable, I'm still getting caught out by a bonk in the afternoon (note, I am not caryring on with the postie..non-sporting folk must understand a bonk is a sugar deficiency symptom..a crash, if you will). Foods which can be quickly prepared and eaten, do not create undue crumbs to drop on the feeding/sleeping infants head and clothes, and are healthy. These foods could be yoghurts, bagels, peanut butter, hummus, olives, cheese (oh so much cheese), and good old stalwart bananas. Always have cake in the house. This is not optional, you never know when cake will be needed. 

Go with the Flow

He's my baby, not Gina Ford's baby or the NCT's baby or the health visitor's baby. I asked Him Indoors, when we were about 6 weeks in, are we doing this parent thing OK? Have we been doing it one of the Ways? And we said..hmm, a bit of everything , a lot of following our instinct and going with the flow.  Mostly I let our little chap show us the way, now that we can mostly understand what he's telling us. We don't have a Bedtime or a Nap Time. Nap Time is when he acts sleepy during the day and Bedtime is when he acts sleepy after 7pm. When we have Something On (a party, a journey to make, shopping to do) then we impose our will on him, whilst being ready to change the plans if he's got a mad craving for milk or has shat a mustard coloured Rorschach picture the size of a man's face. 

By the same standards I don't spend all day finding new toys or books for him to peruse, nor do I attend the mid-boggling calendar of baby-improving events in the locality. He is left to lie singing at his best friend (the light fitting in the lounge) or chewing his fist and a handful of muslin, when that pleases him. Or he's hugged, bounced and shown the mirror and the windows, and anything which stops him from whingeing, fist in drooly little mouth.

The housekeeping standards

You want to do something? Change a lightbulb? Put a shelf up in the nursery? Take out the bins? You will need approximately three times as much time to do it and you need to plan it the same way you'd usually plan a trip to your aunt's in Doncaster, or the transfer of a large piece of dangerous machinery across town. Understand this, and accept that the house is never going to look the same, even when guests come. Especially when guests come, because now your guests will include the little vandalisers of the house beautiful. 

Leaving the House

Parents go on about this at length 'we're late because Kids' . Going out needs even more planning than the domestic chores mentioned in the previous paragraph. I've even considered a burn-down chart, or a Gantt, if waterfall is your thing (sorry, Project Manager joke lolz). I actually enjoy the challenge of an escape, and even sometimes wing it without nappies or wipes (i KNOW! imagine it!) Otherwise the Change Kit is adhered to the same way I used to be able to pack a race bag at 4am, in a one-man tent, one-handed whilst vaselining my ankles. 

Embrace and Understand Risk

Danger is now real. Sharp corners, hot foodstuffs, yappy dogs, fumes from household cleaning products. A midwife said to me whilst we were in hospital 'that's it now, you're on the worry train for life' - thanks love. She was right, but as elsewhere blogged, it's the real risks you need to take care of, be sensible. For example , I suddenly checked myself when about to lift my little hand weights near to Fox's chair. He loves watching me move about in a dancelike way, but the pretty pink shapes he stared at could be his end. Every move I make at night whilst tired is with more care, feet placed squarely on the floor, eyes carefully scanning. A silly aside is that spiders are no longer tolerated in the house when the baby is nearby - I reckon humans are hardwired to be shocked by their weird machine-like scuttling, so our fly-eating friends are hoovered in to eternity escorted off the premises firmly.

Always be thankful

And smile, and know you're not alone.