The light is dim. It is a warm night and the baby's arms are thrown up above his head in repose. In the opposite corner of the room , a woman carries out a series of actions ; two small pink dumb bells are pressed into the air and down; she squats, she lunges.
It's been slow, and I'm still not there. Where is "there"? It's being able to run again. I knew there would be a break but I didn't guess it'd be this long. The healing of the c-section scar is dictating things, and it's going slowly. I started strength training again a month or so ago, and a couple of weeks ago started to try some jogging reps. I was rewarded with an aching midsection. 12 weeks after the birth. I thought by this point I'd be able to run for 15 or 20 minutes at an easy pace. No chance. I'm fighting the urge to be angry and tucking disappointment away . I've got a bonny, healthy kid, who's learning to sleep well at night and charm my friends and family with his smile. But he needs his mum to be a happy lady, and until I'm fit again there will be a bit missing. So I do my best to fit in exercises around the pattern of his needs, and I walk up hills carrying his ever increasing weight in a sling, and I tell myself this will help.
I know what you're thinking: come on, you have taken a course of action which requires sacrifice, the child's needs come before yours. Of course, don't get me wrong. I love being a parent, I love his giddy smiles and the happy dance he does when he sees something new, or a favourite toy within reach, or his reflection. I love watching him grow and change day on day, learning from his father and I. All I am asking is that for a few hours each week I'm able to partake in the simple pleasure of hill running whilst my son spends time with his Dad.
Today I jog/walked one lap of my local Parkrun. (about 13 minutes for one lap of approx 1 mile in case you are wondering) Parkrun was a saviour for me during pregnancy and is continuing to lift my spirits and make me feel part of the running world whilst I am on a break from 'proper' running and racing. Any agency who doesn't appreciate that Parkrun isn't just a load of people running in circles in their park on Saturday mornings needs to look further and think what volunteering and just being together with the community can do for so many people, not just the participants.
It's been slow, and I'm still not there. Where is "there"? It's being able to run again. I knew there would be a break but I didn't guess it'd be this long. The healing of the c-section scar is dictating things, and it's going slowly. I started strength training again a month or so ago, and a couple of weeks ago started to try some jogging reps. I was rewarded with an aching midsection. 12 weeks after the birth. I thought by this point I'd be able to run for 15 or 20 minutes at an easy pace. No chance. I'm fighting the urge to be angry and tucking disappointment away . I've got a bonny, healthy kid, who's learning to sleep well at night and charm my friends and family with his smile. But he needs his mum to be a happy lady, and until I'm fit again there will be a bit missing. So I do my best to fit in exercises around the pattern of his needs, and I walk up hills carrying his ever increasing weight in a sling, and I tell myself this will help.
I know what you're thinking: come on, you have taken a course of action which requires sacrifice, the child's needs come before yours. Of course, don't get me wrong. I love being a parent, I love his giddy smiles and the happy dance he does when he sees something new, or a favourite toy within reach, or his reflection. I love watching him grow and change day on day, learning from his father and I. All I am asking is that for a few hours each week I'm able to partake in the simple pleasure of hill running whilst my son spends time with his Dad.
Today I jog/walked one lap of my local Parkrun. (about 13 minutes for one lap of approx 1 mile in case you are wondering) Parkrun was a saviour for me during pregnancy and is continuing to lift my spirits and make me feel part of the running world whilst I am on a break from 'proper' running and racing. Any agency who doesn't appreciate that Parkrun isn't just a load of people running in circles in their park on Saturday mornings needs to look further and think what volunteering and just being together with the community can do for so many people, not just the participants.
