In this strange new state I live in, the state of motherhood, specifically the mother of a newborn. I look for things from my old ways to make me feel comforted.
I'm thankful my body knows how to build muscle. My midsection was rudely torn apart so that Fox could live, and my body has worked to rebuild it. I've noticed a huge appetite and I've followed its demands, hopeful that it is all a part of my recovery. It's difficult being a new mum when you can't use your middle, never mind difficult thinking about running again.
I'm thankful I am a napper. Sleep now happens in snatched shifts of three or four hours. Five weeks in amd I've only had a couple of late night meltdowns (actually hallucinated)
Thankful I own a warm sleeping bag and I'm used to hunkering down on the ground. Some nights Fox gets very noisy and we decamp to the spare room to avoid disturbing his dad. We camp out, he in his travel bed which is like a little tent, me beside him in my trusty lamina 20
I'm thankful I know the difference between an ache and a pain and I can tolerate discomfort. Breast feeding, long periods carrying a grizzly Fox and trying to feed, tidy and read one handed all take a physical toll. I'm also thankful I know a bit about stretching and maintaining my tired body, which is in no small part down to Lynne from Global Therapies help and advice
I'm thankful I live minutes from open fields and views of hills. Now I'm strong enough to walk with Fox in a sling we get to feel the breeze and hear birdsong, and smell the summer. Best restorative after a muggy night feeding and pooing/dealing with poo.
I'm thankful for my friends and my family who understand that it's not plain sailing every day. Even a ten minute house call or phone chat make me feel more human again. Bigger favours like lifts and loans of equipment have immeasurable value.
