As you were

Fox is one. I’m back racing and running, but am I back where I started? Of course not. But the feeling I have right now is just of happiness I am happy that my body has created a human, and then recovered from that, and the invasive surgical procedure by which he was born, to be able to continue to follow the pastime which defines me. If you met me in a lift, I would still announce myself as a fellrunner before saying I am a parent. When he grows up, he’ll know that my getting out running in the hills kept me a happy and even-mannered mother.

Fox learning about sand on Anglesey 

I haven’t posted for a few months. Work happened. I returned to full-time work in April. It was a transitional time in Fox’s development, he had just started to sleep better at night and feed mainly on bottled milk. These two facts alone made both working and trying to run so much easier. I was however exhausted for the first month or so, learning to fit everything into the day, dealing with the minor illnesses he picked up at nursery, adapting to the new routine. I also think it was like when you stop work for Christmas, and with no pressure to be ‘on point’ , you flake and get ill. Someone else was caring for my son for 40 hours of the week, and I let go of a lot, and flaked…! After the second month though, I managed to start to feel in control again, and more able to commit to going to club runs, or weekend races. All the time, Fox grew up more and more, becoming more independent and more used to time without me – I did my first night away to attend a meeting in Glasgow, and have since spent a few nights away for work.

So normality crept back, but there is still a lot filling my days and nights. It’s hard to motivate myself to go out and train in the evenings when I’ve been up since 5am. I’ve started trying to fit lunchtime runs in, when I work from home. If Him Indoors has social commitments then I have to stay put. I am however very happy with what I’ve been doing over the last weeks – and I have pushed myself to a couple of Long races. I had decided that this would be my goal this summer, though I had no idea whether I would actually be able to achieve it. I did the Kinder Trog (16 miles, about 1000m ascent) in June, and the Holme Moss race(18 miles, 1315m ascent) this month. Both were tough, both showed me what I am still missing in terms of fitness, but the experience of the races themselves were the same. A lot of it is in the mind.

Physically ..I’m back to my previous weight, I don’t have any niggles other than an ache on the scar from the c-section when I run for a few hours. This does and doesn’t surprise me, and I’m making sure I take rest days off after long stuff. Stopping breastfeeding was a big milestone, more for the mental side of things. It honestly changed the way I see and relate to him and to being away from him, because he’s not going to demand access to me at feeding times or if he feels rough. It feels as though we have a freer way of interacting with each other and it’s great. I’m doing personal training sessions to strengthen myself, hopefully injury-proof myself and maybe even get a bit faster.

Next goals are to race , or just run with friends ,in the Lakes, and then to be part of my club’s team at the FRA relays in October.

I guess this blog will be less of the mummy stuff and more of the running now. As you were.

running with clubmate (and BGR supporter Alice at Holme Moss 

The return of the Peatpixie

I haven't posted since before Christmas. This is the first time I've posted in 2017. The last couple of months have been full of change. For me, the feeling that I'm getting somewhere near the runner I used to be. For my son, many new things - crawling, eating proper food three times a day, sleeping better.

December was hard, very hard. I wasn't sleeping enough at all and coupled with the Christmas merry-go-round, a growing boy who needs lots of attention and activity, and my impending return to work, I faded into a bit of a wobbly blur. Some mums will say the first few months of the baby's life were the hardest but I would probably say December was the worst. I've got a handle on myself again now , and I'm actually even looking forward to going back to work a bit.

I started the Christmas season as I meant to go on,  a parkrun on Christmas Eve.  Getting a decent time (heading towards my pre pregnancy arena) spurred me into committing to run at least twice a week once we'd returned home from family visits.

The big break came once we got home and got drastic with the baby's sleep - we sleep trained him and were overjoyed to get him sleeping through the night most nights. It took me a couple of weeks to start to feel normal in myself again, but I plodded out on evenings safe in the knowledge that Fox wouldn't wake up. Towards the end of the month I decided to try a long ish run, and that went well, I felt myself go "into gear" after an hour, and didn't feel absolutely pasted the next day. My scar area still ached a bit, but not so as to worry me.

Colds have done their best to stop me continuing on my path to racing, but they always will at this time of year. The difference that good sleep makes has really hit home. We all know how important sleep and rest are, and take it from me, the last couple of months have really demonstrated that fact . In December,  I'd run 5k and feel exhausted and emotional the following day. In late January,  I'd run 15k and feel ordinary the following day. The only real difference was the sleep, as I hadn't increased the amount I was running in January until near its end.

I've entered a half marathon at the end of this month. I've run up to 11 miles on the flat,  and done a couple of nice hilly runs of more than 90 minutes, so I feel confident I can complete the distance.  It's worth mentioning that at least once a week I go for a couple of hours walk with Fox in the backpack,  I'm hoping that this is contributing to general strength too.

It feels great to be running again, without pain, able to get up to distances which count to me. Having a good run at Glossop parkrun launch week, finishing first female, showed me that the speed is coming back too. The next few months will be about extending my reach to tougher fell runs, more time on my feet, and seeing how going back to work in April affects my ability.